Friday, August 1, 2008

I didn't weigh today

That's right. I didn't weigh today. And I'm not going to weigh tomorrow or the next day either. The last time I weighed was last Friday and I'm not planning on weighing until the end of the month.

Why, you ask? Or maybe you didn't ask. But I'm going to tell you anyway. I didn't weigh today because over the past two months I have been working out an average of 4 days per week at Jazzercise and have still managed to put on 3.5 pounds. I haven't been eating any more, just staying within my daily POINTs. But for some reason, the scale keeps going up. In the grand scheme of things, 3.5 pounds is really no big deal. This is what I have been telling myself. My clothes fit the same. They're not getting tight. So I talked to my Jazzercise instructor and she told me there are a number of reasons the scale might be going up and if I'm not feeling any changes in the way my clothes feel, then I don't really need to worry too much about it. It may be water since I've been drinking more water since I've been working out. It may be muscle. It may just be that it's summer and I'm retaining water like a camel. Could have been the fact that Aunt Flo stopped by for a visit last week. Who the heck knows. All I know is that it's the first time in a year and a half that the scale has started creeping up and I was not happy. Not only was I not happy, I was obsessing over it. Obsessing over the half pound I gained last week even when I tracked all my points and stayed within range. Obsessing over every single thing I put in my mouth whether it was a carrot stick or a piece of gum. ENOUGH! I can't live like that for the rest of my life. So I've had it with the scale. WW doesn't require you to weigh weekly when you're on maintenance so for now I'm going to weigh monthly instead of weekly. I'm going to keep on keeping on with the points and staying in range. I'm going to keep on making good choices and working out 4-5 days a week. And I'm going to keep a close eye on the waistline to make sure the capris are still fitting. And that will be that. I'll weigh at the end of August and see how things go.

Stupid scale. We're not friends.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


You know what they say about assuming. Doing so turns us into a certain donkey-like animal. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned how I was jealous of people who are not watching their weight because they can eat anything they want to and not worry about how many stinking points they'll have left over at the end of the day. But people don't actually make assumptions about me do they? People don't assume that since I'm at a healthy weight now that I've always been there and that I can eat an ice cream cone without even thinking about it right? Au contraire. Let me 'splain.

I spent last week at church camp with three young campers. One shouldn't assume, though, that since I said "camp" it means that we were actually roughing it in the woods or anything. More like dorm rooms at a college campus complete with beds, AC and indoor plumbing. But I digress... I met some really, really cool people there from another church. Our groups kind of merged together and hung out most of the week together. At lunch one day I was sitting at a table with one of the adult sponsors from the other church and her daughter. They were both incredibly funny and sweet and I wish they lived closer. At the end of lunch I decided to indulge in a small soft-serve ice cream cone. When I sat back down, the conversation went something like this:

Mother: Daughter and I were just talking about how unfair it is that skinny people can have ice cream and not even give it a second thought.
Me: I unfair!
Mother: You fall into that category you know.
SKREEEECH. (That's the sound of a record screeching to a halt)

Huh? Me? Not giving ice cream a second thought? Hahahahaha. That's funny. I think about food wayyyy more than I should. Some might call it an obsession. I also know I gave that ice cream cone a second, third and fourth thought, fought with myself for about 10 minutes and finally decided that since I had walked everywhere for the previous three days, I could indulge in a little ice cream. I probably spent more time thinking about that ice cream cone than most people spend thinking about what outfit they're going to wear today.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor and wiped the dumb look off my face I told her about my journey to 140 pounds and about how I'm on WW maintenance, blah blah blah. She said she and her daughter were thinking about starting WW when they got back from camp and we talked about that for a few more minutes.

I thought about this conversation a lot over the next few days. And you know what? I'm totally guilty of making assumptions. Even about so-called skinny people. I don't put myself in that category. I guess I'm just not comfortable with it because I know where I've been and where I could easily be if I don't stay diligent about eating right. But when I see skinny people eating a hamburger or ice cream or a big muffin from Starbucks, I automatically assume they can eat whatever they want and not worry about gaining weight. But what if...what if they work out for an hour 5 days a week and this is the one indulgence they allow themselves all week. What if they're reaching their WW goal this week and celebrating a little bit. What if it's their birthday? You know calories don't count on your birthday. Or what if they really can eat whatever they want and they are blessed with lightning fast metabolism and haven't put on a pound since the 8th grade. What if? We'll never know.

Just some food for thought.

Saturday, July 5, 2008


Okay...confession time. I'll do mine then you can do yours.

1) My house is a mess. I really don't have an excuse other than I was just really lazy last week. DH was in his last week of his next-to-last class for his MBA so he was absolutely no help. I haven't stopped "going" since school let out for the summer and I really didn't have anything I HAD to do last week so I just kind of...didn't do much of anything. I went to Jazzercise, took the kids to the movie, washed clothes, cleaned the kitchen, dusted and vacuumed. That's about it. My bathrooms are in serious need of disinfecting and my sheets are a breeding ground ripe for bed bugs I'm quite sure. But this past week was actually kind of nice.

2) I'm going through a jealous phase. I'm jealous of people who are not on WW and who are not eating right. I remember when I didn't think much about what I ate. When I could go to Chili's and order the chips and queso, the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich and the Chocolate Paradise Pie and not think a thing about it. I remember when I didn't agonize over everything I put in my mouth and wonder if *this* is the animal cracker that's going to bump the scale up one pound. I think about how carefree they must be not having to count points and get out of bed early to exercise. I was there once. I know I should be thankful for where I am and what I have achieved so far. But I'm just not there this week.
I'm also jealous of men. Because they get something like 250 extra WW Points per day just for being men. How is that fair? They also don't have a monthly bloat, nor do they stress eat. It's maddening really. And I know that they get the extra points but there are days that I actually eat *more* than my husband. Those are the days when I feel like a total pig.

3) I made a cake yesterday. You know the one where you make a regular cake and ice it with whipped cream and put the blueberries and strawberries on there so it looks like an American Flag? Yeah, I made one of those. And I ate a really big piece. With frozen yogurt. And then another smaller piece. It was really good. And there's still so much of it left and it's still so good. I'm going to have to throw it away tomorrow or else I'm going to eat the whole stinking thing myself.

4) I'm struggling with money issues. WE are not struggling with money, I'm just struggling with being satified with what we have and not wanting more. There's so much I want for my kids and for our family and I feel overwhelmed with how much everything costs. And somedays it feels like we're never going to get to the point where we don't worry about money. Where we have enough for what we need and then a little left over for fun. I don't know. I guess I'm just having a pity party here today. I'm not Catholic so I have to do my confessing here. :)

I hope you all had a fantastic July 4th holiday. We had a great day yesterday. We went to the parade and then to this fantastic park over in the town next to us. The wingnut (of course) made a friend there. He makes a friend everywhere we go. Then we took a family drive, came home and took a nap and then went to see the fireworks with my fantastic sister-in-law and her family. It was a good time. And I even got up early this morning and went to Jazzercise. I needed it after the stoopid cake incident yesterday!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

One down, four to go

One night of Vacation Bible School down, 4 to go. Last night went pretty well if I do say so myself. It's one of those things where the preparation is the hard part. The night flowed pretty well. Four more nights to go though.

Today is a great day! It's the first day in a long time where I haven't had something I have to do or somewhere I have to go. The kids and I went to Jazzercise this morning and then CAME HOME! Can you believe it? Woohoo! Now wingnut is watching Spongebob and I'm getting ready to make lunch. I'm debating between a turkey sandwich (which is what I typically have) or the new Healthy Choice soup that I bought yesterday. It's Chicken Tortilla. It's the first time I've seen it in the store and I'm curious how it tastes. I know I like the Beef Pot Roast. I used to eat it on the days that I worked because it was easy to take with me. The Minestrone is okay. I bought it last week by mistake and while it was good, it wasn't as good as the Beef Pot Roast. So it's between the turkey sandwich and the soup. And I'll make a nice fruit salad with the kiwi, strawberries and bananas I bought yesterday.

Speaking of Jazzercise (I did mention it somewhere in this post right? So technically we were speaking of it??)...I'm going to be a class manager starting next week. I'm pretty excited because not only will I get my Jazszercise for free, I'll also get to meet new people. It's hard for me to get to know people really well in an environment like Jazzercise. I'm not one for small talk AT ALL. It just sounds so fake when I try it. I can't just strike up a conversation with someone on my way out with a "Great class, huh?" or "I can't believe it's so hot already!" I'm a reasonable friendly person, I just don't like to talk unless I have something to say that I think people will care about. So it usually takes me a long time to get to know people. But since I'm going to be a class manager, I'll get to talk t o everyone who comes.

Eating has been pretty good this week. I had my typical breakfast yesterday of 2 lightly salted rice cakes with a tbsp of peanut butter. The peanut butter is the key. I can usually make it until lunch with that breakfast. Lunch was a turkey sandwich, some baked Cheetos and a WW yogurt. The Cherry Cheesecake one. It is just about the most awesomest thing ever. If you haven't tried it, you MUST do wiki. (Wiki Wiki is Hawaiian for quickly by the way. One of the many things I've learned at Vacation Bible School so far! :) ) Dinner was another turkey sandwich, chips and some grapes. I had a fruit kebob left over from the kids' snacks and a peanut butter cookie. The workers are fed at church so I didn't have too much of a choice about dinner. That's why I had 2 turkey sandwiches yesterday. Tonight is hot dogs which I'm not thrilled about but I also don't have time to make dinner here is what it is.

Anyway, I think I've gone on long enough. The wingnut wants lunch and I should feed myself and the girlie too. Apparently kids need to be fed on a regular basis. Who knew?

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Wholly Heck is it Saturday already?

I can't believe how fast the past week has gone. Is this what working life is like? I remember working. I did it for a few years before I had children. I actually had adult conversations with people, and I had complete phone conversations without someone needing their butt wiped or a refill of grape juice.

As I mentioned before, I hung at out the church office this week answering the phone and doing random office duties. Like printing things and signing for packages. Good times.

I think I also mentioned the three pounds that I found last weekend. Well as of Friday they're mostly gone. But I've decided to stop stepping on the scale on Monday. I know daily weighing works for some people but it just makes me neurotic. Here's why:
If my weight is up on Monday, then I freak out and get really strict for the whole week. If I'm not up on Monday, then I allow myself a little leeway here and there and then I end up being up on Friday. If that happens, then I get really strict through the weekend and whole next week and weigh every day until the scale starts going down again. And seriously, all this anguish is usually only over about 1-2 pounds. What's up with that?? Why not just weigh on Friday like I'm supposed to and then eat RESPONSIBLY (there's a concept) for the whole week. Then *theoretically* there should be no surprises the next Friday when I weigh again. Ugh. I'm a basket case. Please tell me I'm not alone. Help me out here. Lie to me if you have to. I'm okay with that.

So this week I was pretty good. I stayed OP all week pretty much. I don't really count points anymore. I usually eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch and I have a variety of recipes I use that are in a certain point range so I know approximately how many points I've eaten but not exactly. I also went to Jazzercise 4 days. The good thing is that I'm feeling it. My butt muscles are sore. My triceps are sore. And don't even get me started on my abs. Even though I was working out 3 days a week, I wasn't feeling it anymore and now I am so that must mean something's working right? It's also nice to workout without having to worry about what the kids are doing. Jazzercise has child care so it's truly MY time. When I worked out at home it was when Lulu was sleeping in the next room. Wingnut would play downstairs and I was always worried that I would wake Lulu up or Wingnut would stomp up the stairs and wake her up before I got done. Now I can workout without any worries *and* still get stuff done while the girlie naps.

Alright. I should go and rustle up some grub. I'm so on top of things. I already have some ground beef/turkey ready for dinner. All I have to do is throw it together with something and it's good to go. So why is my dad suggesting pizza as I'm typing this? This may get ugly folks...

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Happy Tuesday!

Is it? Is it really a happy Tuesday? I hope it is for you. I got my hair cut this morning so that's always a good day.

This week is going to be busy. I'm working at church this week answering phones because our secretary is out of town. Next week is Vacation Bible School (which my friend and I are in charge of) so this week is busy planning and getting everything together to make sure we don't make a complete mess of everything. This is our first year doing it so I'm sure we'll learn a lot (and not necessarily in a good way). So all of this working and planning makes it very hard for me to get to Jazzercise. I went yesterday. I'm thinking about going tonight after I go home and make dinner. Then the fam can eat while I go get my groove on.

I really need to go after the weekend I had. It was, shall we say, out of control. Well not the whole weekend, just Friday and Sunday. Friday night we went out and spent an outrageous amount of money and POINTS at the sushi buffet. But oh my...It was so good. I only went back for seconds but my plate was pretty full. I did, however, make sure to have two big helpings of steamed veggies. So then, instead of taking advantage of the dessert buffet (which was already included in the outrageous sushi buffet price), we decided to go across town to the local ice cream store complete with the slab of marble used to mix delicious treats in with the scoop of ice cream as big as my son's head. And again we paid an obscene amount of money for calories, fat and high fructose corn syrup in the form of birthday cake ice cream with cookie dough mixed in. Oy. Then Sunday. Father's Day. Steak. Salad. Potatoes. Bread. Enough said. I jumped on the scale yesterday morning to see the damage. I was up 3.5 pounds from Friday. Again I'll say, I really need to go to Jazzercise tonight. The past three weeks have been crazy with a weekend away and two weeks of company and I think it's all starting to catch up to me. I got back OP yesterday and I already feel better. I'm sure some of the 3.5 pounds is water so hopefully the scale will right itself by Friday.

Tomorrow is movie day. Yay! One of the movie theaters here shows kids movies every Tuesday and Wednesday for 50 cents. It's a great, cheap way to get out of the house and stay out of the heat. Tomorrow is Alvin and the Chipmunks. Love that movie!

Friday, June 13, 2008

So glad it's Friday - Sushi night

Jazzercise again this morning. I love Jazzercise! I had forgotten how much I loved it until I joined again last week. Billy Blanks and I used to have a standing appointment every Monday, Wednesday and Friday but he just wasn't doing it for me anymore so I had to move on. So that's why I joined Jazzercise. And I'm so happy I did. I went four days last week and four days this week and I feel awesome!

So here's my question...will I ever stop thinking about food all the time? Seriously folks, I've been doing this for 18 months now and I really thought I'd be over my obsession with food. It's like when you've broken up with someone but you really wish you could get back together. You remember all the good times you had and conveniently forget about the really rotten ones. You think if you could try it again you could maybe do it right this time. And you want to call them just to hear their voice on the answering machine. It's like that with me. I think about food. I think about all the good times I've had eating ice cream. The good old days when life was simple and breakfast was leftover pizza or potato chips and ranch dip. Couldn't we try again? Couldn't I make it work this time? Couldn't I just have a bite of this and a bite of that and it wouldn't get ugly?

No. It wouldn't work. It just wouldn't. But I still want one of those Oreos up on the top shelf of the pantry. I want a PB&J sandwich. I want some graham cracker sticks. I want a little bit of everything that's in the house right now. Why? It's not the dreaded TOM. It's just my obsession with food. Something that I'll probably be dealing with for the rest of my life. Because I. Love. Food.

Anyway, what else is going on...I had Mimi's for lunch today! I love Mimi's. If you don't have a Mimi's where you are I am so sorry. My dad's girlfriend is in town and she tried Mimi's for the first time last week and had to go back before she left. I was pretty good. I had the chicken and fruit platter. A little chicken, a little fruit and a lot of big leafy greens. YUM-O! Aren't I so good and disciplined?? Not so much. In the interest of full disclosure, we did have fried pickles for an appetizer AND I had half of a buttermilk spice muffin but today is Friday. My cheat day. I let myself indulge a little bit on Fridays since it's my weigh-in day. And tonight is sushi! I'm so excited. What a great day.

Okay - I think that's enough for now. I'll come back tomorrow and tell you about the documentary I watched the other night on the BBC called Super Skinny Me. Have you seen it? Eye-opening for sure. More on that tomorrow.