Wednesday, July 23, 2008


You know what they say about assuming. Doing so turns us into a certain donkey-like animal. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned how I was jealous of people who are not watching their weight because they can eat anything they want to and not worry about how many stinking points they'll have left over at the end of the day. But people don't actually make assumptions about me do they? People don't assume that since I'm at a healthy weight now that I've always been there and that I can eat an ice cream cone without even thinking about it right? Au contraire. Let me 'splain.

I spent last week at church camp with three young campers. One shouldn't assume, though, that since I said "camp" it means that we were actually roughing it in the woods or anything. More like dorm rooms at a college campus complete with beds, AC and indoor plumbing. But I digress... I met some really, really cool people there from another church. Our groups kind of merged together and hung out most of the week together. At lunch one day I was sitting at a table with one of the adult sponsors from the other church and her daughter. They were both incredibly funny and sweet and I wish they lived closer. At the end of lunch I decided to indulge in a small soft-serve ice cream cone. When I sat back down, the conversation went something like this:

Mother: Daughter and I were just talking about how unfair it is that skinny people can have ice cream and not even give it a second thought.
Me: I unfair!
Mother: You fall into that category you know.
SKREEEECH. (That's the sound of a record screeching to a halt)

Huh? Me? Not giving ice cream a second thought? Hahahahaha. That's funny. I think about food wayyyy more than I should. Some might call it an obsession. I also know I gave that ice cream cone a second, third and fourth thought, fought with myself for about 10 minutes and finally decided that since I had walked everywhere for the previous three days, I could indulge in a little ice cream. I probably spent more time thinking about that ice cream cone than most people spend thinking about what outfit they're going to wear today.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor and wiped the dumb look off my face I told her about my journey to 140 pounds and about how I'm on WW maintenance, blah blah blah. She said she and her daughter were thinking about starting WW when they got back from camp and we talked about that for a few more minutes.

I thought about this conversation a lot over the next few days. And you know what? I'm totally guilty of making assumptions. Even about so-called skinny people. I don't put myself in that category. I guess I'm just not comfortable with it because I know where I've been and where I could easily be if I don't stay diligent about eating right. But when I see skinny people eating a hamburger or ice cream or a big muffin from Starbucks, I automatically assume they can eat whatever they want and not worry about gaining weight. But what if...what if they work out for an hour 5 days a week and this is the one indulgence they allow themselves all week. What if they're reaching their WW goal this week and celebrating a little bit. What if it's their birthday? You know calories don't count on your birthday. Or what if they really can eat whatever they want and they are blessed with lightning fast metabolism and haven't put on a pound since the 8th grade. What if? We'll never know.

Just some food for thought.

Saturday, July 5, 2008


Okay...confession time. I'll do mine then you can do yours.

1) My house is a mess. I really don't have an excuse other than I was just really lazy last week. DH was in his last week of his next-to-last class for his MBA so he was absolutely no help. I haven't stopped "going" since school let out for the summer and I really didn't have anything I HAD to do last week so I just kind of...didn't do much of anything. I went to Jazzercise, took the kids to the movie, washed clothes, cleaned the kitchen, dusted and vacuumed. That's about it. My bathrooms are in serious need of disinfecting and my sheets are a breeding ground ripe for bed bugs I'm quite sure. But this past week was actually kind of nice.

2) I'm going through a jealous phase. I'm jealous of people who are not on WW and who are not eating right. I remember when I didn't think much about what I ate. When I could go to Chili's and order the chips and queso, the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich and the Chocolate Paradise Pie and not think a thing about it. I remember when I didn't agonize over everything I put in my mouth and wonder if *this* is the animal cracker that's going to bump the scale up one pound. I think about how carefree they must be not having to count points and get out of bed early to exercise. I was there once. I know I should be thankful for where I am and what I have achieved so far. But I'm just not there this week.
I'm also jealous of men. Because they get something like 250 extra WW Points per day just for being men. How is that fair? They also don't have a monthly bloat, nor do they stress eat. It's maddening really. And I know that they get the extra points but there are days that I actually eat *more* than my husband. Those are the days when I feel like a total pig.

3) I made a cake yesterday. You know the one where you make a regular cake and ice it with whipped cream and put the blueberries and strawberries on there so it looks like an American Flag? Yeah, I made one of those. And I ate a really big piece. With frozen yogurt. And then another smaller piece. It was really good. And there's still so much of it left and it's still so good. I'm going to have to throw it away tomorrow or else I'm going to eat the whole stinking thing myself.

4) I'm struggling with money issues. WE are not struggling with money, I'm just struggling with being satified with what we have and not wanting more. There's so much I want for my kids and for our family and I feel overwhelmed with how much everything costs. And somedays it feels like we're never going to get to the point where we don't worry about money. Where we have enough for what we need and then a little left over for fun. I don't know. I guess I'm just having a pity party here today. I'm not Catholic so I have to do my confessing here. :)

I hope you all had a fantastic July 4th holiday. We had a great day yesterday. We went to the parade and then to this fantastic park over in the town next to us. The wingnut (of course) made a friend there. He makes a friend everywhere we go. Then we took a family drive, came home and took a nap and then went to see the fireworks with my fantastic sister-in-law and her family. It was a good time. And I even got up early this morning and went to Jazzercise. I needed it after the stoopid cake incident yesterday!